Remember when you sat on the floor crying, wishing for nothing more than the end of your life? Remember how you searched outward for a reason to live and could not find one so you turned inward and found a plethora? Remember how on that day you promised yourself that if you are to live, you are to cut out the half-hearted, kinda here, kinda not bullshit, and just live unapologetically? Yeah, since then, you have become a dancer that gives those who have been going for years a run for their money, you have a job that you excel at, you almost finished a university course where you get top marks and people are flocking to work with you on projects. You have gained new friends who love you for you and surrounded yourself with people and activities that bring you joy. You have flown a plane for god's sake.
Remember when you sat on the floor crying knowing you needed a change in setting for a while to recoup, instead of letting having no money tear you down you found a way to travel and volunteer for 3 months in a country you have never been before and never even thought to visit? Remember how you raised £800 when you had never done fundraising before and when you came back home with £0 in your account, you found a job in a day?
Remember how just over a year ago you could bearly walk in heels now you can spin, jump and dance your heart out in them. How you found a style that you thought to be beautiful and went straight for it without hesitation now you can also walk in 8-inch heels.
Remember when you said you couldn't write music and had no confidence in your voice, now you are mentally and physically preparing yourself to upload music to streaming sites? Or how you said you will never get better but now you spend each day gaining more and more self-love.
Remember how you believed you were invisible but when you looked up you saw so many hands wanting to walk with you? Remember when you realised that you weren't alone, that your mind is a place of utmost beauty?
You deserve all of this because it was you who made it happen. It was you who fought to love yourself, you who crawled out of a hole. I am amazed by you because your confidence is not connected to an external source, and your happiness is not connected to a thing or a person, it radiates from within and now life has become a treasure. You have become a diamond that people see shining. You have the opportunity to say yes or no to things and people because you know you are in high demand.
This is not a life you ever imagined for yourself. Truth be told, I know you didn't think you’d even live to see 23 but alas, you are here, you have proved yourself to yourself time and time again. So any doubts that are left, just let them fade as they serve you no more.
